This is my 100th post,I never thought I'd get this far or have over 1000 views on mycounter! Thanks to all of my loyal readers!
Now if you will allow me a small rant, I will announce the contest shortly.
I work at my Church as the secretary. I'm in the Bell Choir. I'm also acting head of the Diaconate. I"m on several committees. I am active with our Church women's group. Does this make me a Christian? NO! It makes me nuts, lol.
I'm up at my churh alot more often than someone that only goes on Sundays. I used to enjoy doing all that. I'm at the point where I'm beginning to dread going to church. Only because of a few people that I feel are personally trying to sabotage me. For one reason or another of which I am unaware, I feel these people are out to make me lose my job, and are lying about me. Is that Christian? NO it is very very very very petty. I should be waking up on Sunday morning happy to get up and go to God's house and rejoice in a new week.
Right now my heart is very heavy. I'm hoping to confront these people, or one person in particular and find out the reason behind it. I know I can't please everyone all the time, and if it was just a few things occasionally Iwould ignore it, and just chalk it up to that person being ignorant or just plain inconsiderate.
If someone has a problem with me I wish they would tell me, confront me about it , ask me about it or whatever instead of going behind my back. That is what hurts the most. I'm hoping this will resolve itself soon. Hubby is behind me one hundred percent, and is going with whatever I decide. I am just praying hard for some guidance in how to handle this situation. Please give me a bit of support.
OK, now that I have that off my chest, I need some laughter!!
This CONTEST is easy:
There have beencontests about birth/adoption stories and some about sticking your foot in your mouth , and some really easy ones where all youhave to do is leave a comment or mentiona blog.
This is just as easy and my mom gave me the idea:
Leave a post/comment in the next two weeks regarding your funniest wedding shenanigans. It could be something gone horribly ( but hilariously) wrong at your wedding or a freinds wedding. This is open to men and women alike.
After those two weeks are up, my daughter will help me choose a winner. Not exactly sure if i will have ya'll vote on the funniest or what yet. will let you know ,and will probably depend on how many entries I get.
For example, heres what happened at my moms wedding:
The day before the wedding her twin sister had a miscarriage and was in the hospital. My mom had less than 24 hrs to find another Matron of Honor that could fit into her sisters altered dress.
The day of the wedding my father had a gland infection and was running a fever.
The day of the wedding the best man was driving my fathers car to my grandmothers house to pick up my father and dropped the transmission out of the car.
At the reception something ( coffee I think) got spilled on my mothers wedding dress, but instead of taking it get it cleaned, while my parents were on their honeymoon, my moms brother threw the dress out!! Needless to say I didn't wear my mothers gown on my wedding day.
My parents survived that day but my mother still has to laugh at all the things that wentwrong, and what should have been a beautiful day started out very shaky.
the prize? I will personally crochet you a lapghan in any color you want. The pattern I use takes three colors so you could tell me colors to match just about anything. If you aren't sure what a lapghan is, its a smaller version of an afghan. Just goes from your waist to your feet when you are huddled on couch watching tv or reading a good book. I know it is getting warm down here in Texas, but I also know that up north there is still some snow.
Have a good day and I hope to be laughing by this afternoon.!!!
28 comments:
Oh, what a considerate, nice prize! I have to think of something really good that happened at my wedding to enter the contest... thinking... thinking... thinking...
I want a lapghan! I'll think on this and come back to comment!!
Hallie
Just FYI to all who enter... it takes me anywhere from 2-3 weeks to make one, sometimes shorter if I don'thave alot else going on. I will post a picture of one I recently made and the one I'm currently working on when I'm finished with it. I usally use one multi-color skein and two solid. The patterns that come out of mixing the colors is very cool.
I'm so excited!
Okay I have one ;) My dh and I were both virgins when we got married so we were a little bit giddy as you can imagine. Towards the end of the receptions, things were winding down and it was time for us to go change (in the same room for the first time). Well, Peter took my hand and said to my mom "We're going to go get undressed now." REalizing what he said because everyone was snickering, he turned beet red and tried to correct himself but it was WAY too late for that, lol.
Oh my! What a wonderful prize! I've got lots of stories! He He!
First of all, though, I want to comment on the trouble at church. It saddens me when I hear about trouble between people at church. It really should not ever be that way. You need to speak with those directly and try to get to the bottom of things and come to a resolution together. Sometimes people perceive things differently.
I have an example for you from my life. Years ago, we were part of a very small church. I took care planned a lot of the get togethers and we hosted many of them in our home. The first couple of years we held our church's anniversary at a park near where we met. As more people began attending, other women stepped forward to take on different things. One year a gal decided she wanted to plan a get together at the park. I believe it was for the Fourth of July. I was more than glad to have someone step in and I talked with her about what needed to be done. I told her about reserving a pavillion, what supplies we already had, and all of the other things she needed to take into consideration. I can't remember exactly why... I seem to think it had something to do with someone being sick or something... but I had to step in and finish getting it together at the last minute. They were there on that day and I didn't mind having to do it. However, I got a call from her several months later because she wanted to apologize for being mad at me. I had no idea she was mad at me and was shocked when she told me that when we had the conversation about reserving the pavillion and what she needed to do that she thought I was being bossy. Shocked.
My point is that we never know for sure how others perceive us. We also don't always know what that other person is dealing with and it is so easy to miscommunicate and for us and/or others to take things the wrong way. The best way to handle it is to just ask. Things are not always what they seem.
Okay! Wedding stories...
Both my husband and I were in our friends' wedding. My husband was the Best Man and I was a Bridesmaid. The Bride wore white and the Groom wore a traditional black and white tux. My husband and the other groomsmen wore grey tuxes with peach colored cumberbuns. The maid of honor and the rest of us bridesmaids wore royal blue, short, ruffled, strapless, hoochie MaMa dresses with black satin bordelo jackets that the Groom's mother made and insisted we wore because she said that our dresses were too revealing. We got the dresses at JC Penney and one of the girls absolutely did not have the figure for that kind of dress... but it was what the Bride wanted.
As we walked down the aisle you would not believe the looks of horror on the faces of all the guests. Only the Bride and Groom thought those colors matched. They also ran out of food at the reception and none of us in the wedding party got any food.
That was 20 years ago and they are still married. Interestingly, I think their common odd taste has helped. One year they made me a birthday cake. Lemon with chocolate frosting. No joke. They ate it up.
My 2nd entry (I decided to do my stories in separate comments, that other one was long).
I was the Maid of Honor in a wedding that I had to fly to another state for. I had to send my measurements to the Bride which she then gave to the dressmaker. I got into town and rented a car a couple of days before the wedding. I immediately went to the dressmaker's shop to get my dress. It was rush hour and the shop was in Pomona, CA. I got there just before they were going to leave and tried on my dress. The ugliest dress I have ever seen in my whole life. It was dark green satin, a cross between evergreen and army green. It had a wide band with a big bow right under and between the ta ta's. Coming out of that band was great amounts of some chiffony light mossy green material that went around the sides and back of the dress. Horrendous.
I laughed to myself. What can you do? There aren't bridemaid dress jokes for no reason. I put the dress on. HOLY COW. There was literally six inches between the sides of the zipper. I stood there in utter shock. I called the dressmaker in. There was much going back and forth... there was no way to make the dress fit and the wedding was in TWO days!!! She had to make me a whole new dress. Do you understand what that means? I had to pay for TWO OF THE UGLIEST DRESSES EVER!!!
When I went to pick up the Fatty Mc Fat Fat dress, I tried it on and it was too long. Only there was no time to change that. I am 5'11" tall. That dress was made for the Jolly Green Giant! And that is exactly what I looked like in it. And I stepped on that dress and tripped around in it throughout the wedding and reception.
Was that the end of my embarrassment? No, of course not.
I was honored to be asked to be the Maid of Honor and very much glad to do it. However, the Bride's best friend from the time she was in high school was pretty offended. She had it in for me. She was more than happy to announce loudly every so often, like at the top of each hour, that I had to have a second dress made because I was too FAT for the first one. Fortunately for me, she only made herself look tacky. She was wearing the same ugly dress too and hers was too tight. Seems she should have had a second one made for herself. (yeah, Hiss Hiss)
Well, they served a sit down dinner and the Bride and Groom were seated with the entire wedding party at a very long table overlooking all of the guest tables. There were placecards with our names on them and mine was placed next to the Bride's. As I was going to sit down, the Bride's BFF switched the place cards and then shoved inbetween the Bride and myself, causing me to lose my footing and step on my dress, ripping it... while the guests looked on. The Bride told her psycho BFF that I was supposed to sit there but I told her not to worry about it as I felt the BFF was going to make a scene.
Oh... and BFF wanted to dance with the Bride, causing a bit of a scene on the dance floor later in the evening.
Sadly, several years later, I found a mystery roll of film and ran off to get it developed. It was of pictures from that wedding that I had not realized were missing because I had taken several rolls. They were already divorced.
I put a post up linking to you and your contest. Be sure to check it out... I've got a message for ya in it!
Happy 100th post!
Hi, I just stumbled on your blog from someone else's but I don't remember who! Nice blog.
This happened to my daughter at her wedding, wasn't very funny at the time but we made it work. She had four bride's maids and groom's men. Two days before the wedding two of her bride's maids told her they could not attend! When she got off the phone with both she smiled at me and said "Guess I know who my friends are" and never looked back. At rehearsal we rearranged with two men on each side with one woman and it worked out great. Those that loved them were there and we had a great time!
Come visit my blog sometime!
With all the weddings I've been to you'd think I'd have something interesting to share.
One of the stories I like to tell is a wedding where the mother of the mother of the bride, and the mother of the groom were assigned the task of lighting the candles on either side of the Unity Candle. But, instead of giving them a match, or something easy to light, they gave these two saints in the Lord a Bic Lighter each to use.
I'm sure these ladies had never handled a cigarette lighter before - maybe never seen one - I don't know. But the trick , of course, with a lighter is to strike the flint and hold the trigger DOWN! They had no idea how to use these things and apparently weren't given any schooling in the matter before their moment on stage. So there we all were -- a church FULL of people and these two ladies strolling slowly to the platform. Then, on either side of the table with the display, we all got to see them trying to "flick their Bic." All you could hear in the still of the moment was, "flick", "flick". "flick", flick." On and on it went.
Poor ladies, they had no idea. I think mentally, the enter congregation was shouting, "Hold the trigger down!" Finally, one of the ladies had enough of the world in her, I guess, and figured out how to keep the flame going, and then, as we all breathed a sigh of relief, she got her candle light. Then she shared her worldly insight with her counter part and the wedding went on.
I'll always remember with fondness the day the Mother of the Bride, and the Mother of the Groom, learned how to flick their Bic. I'm sure they haven't forgotten either.
P.S. Congratulations on the 100th!!
I'm sorry about your work situation and I can relate. I would offer some pearls f wisdom except from my study today, what I learned is seek GOd intently and listen. Since I am a dumb sheep I couldn't come up with anything anyway. Do you want our stories posted on our blogs or yours?
Coffee Bean your tough competition but I'm up for ya!
WOW, this is getting off to a great start. Thanks coffe bean for the very nice words sent my way. iam willing to confront the perons/people but have to do it at the right time...
I canjust imagine that green frothy concoction of a butt ugly dress, that you had to buy TWO of, lmao.
Rick love the flick thier bic story thats pretty funny.
Lena, I bet Peter never got over that slip of the tongue to your mother, (oops sorry pun intended, hehe).
Oh tay. Sounds like the SEAMSTRESS for coffee bean knew as much about sewing as I know about spelling! yuk yuk.
When I married Daddy BB it was my third marraige. Whew I can hear my pedestal sliding right now. It was my first and only marraige as a believer. My first wedding was a shot gun, I was 16 and PG. I di'int want to do it. There was some very weird circumstances around that whole deal so don't think too harshly of me. Someday I may tell that story and it's not what it looks like. Next, I married the psycho that wrecked my life so bad I found Jesus. That was worth the trouble. We just went to a justice of the peace, held hands, he pronounced and it was done. Really didn't feel like a wedding at all.
Something happened the day I married Daddy BB. My bestfriend Lucy had given me the no hanky panky without a ring on your finger drill. We had managed not to mess around the whole way, but we had been seriously smooching. Any streetlight could serve as a moon. The day we were to get married I got so nervous. I fixed my hair before I put my dress on and started bawling. I was having these "I want my mama", feelings and getting really emotional. My mama had been dead a long time so that wasn't going to happen. Lucy showed up just in the nick of time. We were having a really lovely outdoor garden, actually big wooden deck wedding at our favorite pastors house. Everyone had made a contribution. The sunday school class ladies decorated a white arbor with peach ribbons and garland. Even though they hated me for getting Daddy BB, you'd have thought he was the only man on a desert island. A lady that made beautiful wedding cakes made our cake as a gift. I just said peach and everything matched perfectly. My daughter babysat for an amature photographer and she took great pics for a hundred bucks. My flowers were done by another lady from church for another hundred, and my dress was one hundred. Our whole wedding actually cost $300.
God was so awesome He made me a real bride that day. Lucy had told me that I was a new creature in Christ and that I was a spiritual virgin. This was my only Christian wedding. Somehow God blessed me by amking me into new bride that day, it was miraculous. Daddy BB had been single for 12 years, and he had been abstaining for that long too. Purity was important to us we just wrestled with our attraction and those incredible kisses. After 20 years he still makes my knees go weak. As the ceremony was progressing Daddy BB and I got seriously emotional. We both looked down and almost started crying. We we're just so overwhelmed, it wasn't cold feet, it was just too much. The whole day was so beautiful and there we were holding hands before God and saying YES. The pastor knew us. He came to the rescue with the rings. He instucted Daddy BB to "put the fing on my ringer". We looked up and started laughing and he said,"oh my gosh, I said that at my daughter's funeral too". Guffaw, no more chance of crying. It was cool. We made it through the rest of the wedding without event, and it must've been a good one because we are still together. Now our honeymoon is a whole nutha story,.....half of Lake Tahoe was on fire and we thought it was SMOG! We were in a little cabin that didn't have a radio or a TV set. It just had lots of beds....
You can post the story here in my comments section or if it is really long, leave a coment linking me back to the post on your blog!!
Got some great stories going here!!!
CONGRATULATIONS on 100 and Good Luck on 100 more!
And re: your contest, well, since you were my matron of honor, don't think it's quite fair of me to enter, but I'll mention a couple of highlights that I remember.
Let's see, we went and got our hair done early that day, boy the hairdresser used a whole box of bobby pins to hold my hair up and probably a whole bottle of industrial strength hairspray too!
One good thing, I did let you pick out your own bridesmaid dress, and you did a great job. That dress looked great on you! And your hubbie appreciated you in it too if I remember right!
Oh and remember when we were playing pool while we were getting all foo-fooed up before the ceremony and I was wearing that so called "merry widow" and my petticoat, I never did get that picture you took and said you were going to use as blackmail.
Well, it's bound to have been misplaced after almost 11 years, right? You don't happen to have that picture tucked away somewhere, do you? Cause I swear, if that thing ever shows up, I'll....nah, it's long gone,you probably lost when you moved to Lancaster, right? RIGHT?!
Mabunny,
Congrats on post 100. That's great - and what a great idea for a contest. If I get the time - I'll come back later with my story that might be able to win for "creepiest" story.
Love the competition so far.
Karla
hmmm...i would have to say that it was at my bro wedding....he was a bit tipsy and as he was getting the garter off my sil, he kept SEARCHING for it and she was like, "you need to hurry up! stop that" and EVERYONE (150+ people) where all watching and laughing at HER because she was beet red...well, he kept it up and eventually ended up pulling her SKIRT up and diving in to "find" the garter...needless to say, i don't think he had a GREAT wedding night because he was in the DOG HOUSE for a VERY LONG TIME for that little stunt!! it was funny for us by my sil was VERY EMBARRASSED!!!
My personal favorite wedding story is from a friend who is a tad ... high maintenance (and when I say that, I really mean it!).
She was married at the Botanic Gardens in July. In the evening. In a Jewish ceremony, where she did ballet dances around her husband as she circled him the requisite seven times -- I should have known then that something odd was up.
To get to and from the hors d'ouevres area, we had to hike about a half mile in our dresses and heels -- only Grandma got a golf cart ride -- while the ceremony area was transformed into a reception area.
Now, if anyone has been in Illinois in July, you know what happens as dusk approaches, and it was approaching as the interminable speeches began (I finally started timing them. The average was 7 minutes).
Fortunately, the Botanic Gardens new that lots of plants plus lots of water plus summer equals lots of bugs. They couldn't really spray in the reception area, but they sprayed all around the outside.
I don't know if it was all the perfume and cologne that was being worn, or if it was the flames from the candles decorating the tables, but mosquitos HAD to come see what was up.
You would see a mosquito desperately trying to reach the flame of the candle, but inevitably, the bug spray would take effect just before the bug reached its destination, and the bug would crash land on the table.
Watching the bugs dive bomb the tables, kami-kazi style, became a game. It was definitely more interesting than some of the speeches!
I've been to restaurants before where they scrape the crumbs from your table between courses. Here, they weren't scraping the crumbs but the carcasses of the poor mosquitoes who couldn't help but brave the curtain of bug spray to check out the party.
Oh -- and happy 100th!
Um, yeah yeah Nik, they got lost when we moved:)))
Maria that is hilariousl about the smi drunk groomgoing for the garter, lol and i agree I bet he had a pretty bad wedding night, lol.
I KNEW IT, you DO still have that picture! Oh well, with a friendship that's lasted for almost 25 (!!!!) years,, I'm sure we've both got enough on each other to ensure that it all stays just between us. :)
Talk to you later!
I helped with a rehearsal dinner a few years back, and while we were setting up, someone put a basket with a napkin in it for bread too close to a candle. The napkin caught on fire blazing quickly. We put it out, and when the group came down for dinner, they all remarked about how good everything smelled. We all just looked at each other and tried not to laugh. It's been a joke ever since.
LOL Shirley! I bet everything did smell good.. If burnt napkin/fired bread smells good lmao..
Thanks for visiting!
since my wedding was attended only by my husband myself my mother the preacher his wife and our son there was not much that could go wrong :-) one that cracked me up however was my best friends wedding... her father was so flustered that when the preacher asked, "who gives this woman?" her dad said, " HER FATHER AND I" he did not even realise what he said but we all had a good laugh later.
COngratulations on the 100th post! I am pushing closer to 200 and trying to think up a good something for it! Love the stories so far and am excited to see who wins! :-) what a lovely prize to go along with great reading!
Hugs Laura
OK, here's my entry, and you asked for it! We were attending a wedding and it was like the first wedding we'd been to since having our first son, who was six months old at the time.
Somehow, Mr. Manic and I were feeling very amorous and found ourselves IN A STORAGE CLOSET DOING IT DURING THE WEDDING!!! WHILE THE BAND WAS STRIKING UP!!!
Yes, it's true! We had sex at the wedding.
Come to think of it. That's NOT the first time we had sex at a wedding, but the other time we had sex at a wedding is not a story I can share!
This is the most interesting wedding story I have.
Because {Long story deleted} my best friends second marriage was scheduled too close to the final divorce of the first marriage (there is a waiting time in our state). Rather than reschedule or postpone, they decided to get married at the courthouse in the adjoining state, and have the religious ceromony as planned.
Then we got a brainstorm. Why didn't I get ordained (online) and marry them? We laughed and laughed... and then I investigated (just for more laughs) and found out that it would be LEGAL.
SO... I married them in a coffee shop next to the courthouse. Her older sons walked her down the aisle. The youngest carried the purple rubberband rings on his buzz lightyear pillow. I read some appropiate verses and poems I had found in a book, and made them repeat vows. My husband and a customer in the shop were the witnesses. (That is a whole other story).
Later that day they had the beautiful church ceremony.
Thanks Manic and Robin for your entries... Manic, I guess the band wasn't the only thing striking up at that moment, lmao.
Robin that is hilarious, I can just picture a nice quaint coffee shop wedding:))did you stay ordained?
Finally have a chance to come back and leave a wedding story.
AS you may know, we had Shmoopy BEFORE getting married! (the horror!) He was almost 2 when we finally decided to make our family official.
We invited 250 of our closest friends and had an enormous event planned. John and CJ even had matching tuxes with tails. Have you ever seen an almost 2 year old in a tux? :) CUTE!!
Jump ahead to the day before the wedding....we notice that little Mr. CJ is covered in something. Could it be? Was it? Shit. Full blown, oozing, scabby, yucky chicken pox. From head to toe - and yes, little man even had them IN his throat and on his penis!
Well, he was so contagious the doctor told us he could NOT attend the wedding. Well, everyone that we would EVER have asked to babysit was going to be AT the wedding!
So what do we do? We decided without giving a seconds thought to cost, to hire a visiting nurse for the day to stay with him.
To this day, the expense of the nurse remains as one of the most expensive days we have ever had!
Apparently, asking for a visiting nurse to come stay with an infectious kiddo with less than 24 hours notice equals OVER $700.00!!
EEK! We laugh now!
Hallie :)
Alright Mabunny, here's my creepy entry, and I'm sorry it's another long one. (Though I don't even need to enter after Manic's amorous entry. Manic - were you guys in Four Weddings and a Funeral? lmbo)
Anyway, as part of our Catholic wedding preparation, Clark and I went to the Pre-Cana classes. There, we were told about using Natural Family Planning (NFP) instead of birth control, to either help achieve or avoid pregnancy. I'll leave the TMI details out (you can google it if you want more info) but I will add that it is basically charting your "discharge" on a daily basis to determine when you ovulate. So after the classes, I started charting for practice. (This is not the creepy part yet.)
As another part of the wedding preparation, our priest met with each of us (separately) following our Pre-Cana. This is the only thing I remember from my meeting: What I meant to tell him was that I had begun charting my cycle using NFP. But instead, I just kind blurted out that we had started using the Natural Family Planning method. He kind of stuttered "Oh-oOH! Really?" And then he changed the subject. The worst part about it was that sitting there, I didn't even realize that he thought I just told him that we were DOING IT! Clark told me afterward when I told him what I had said. (Sometimes I am just blonde that way. It's a good thing I have four kids because I have someone to blame it on.)
Now HERE's the creepy part. We got married on a Saturday in June. I picked my dress up from the seamstress on Monday that week. On Tuesday, I was sitting with my sister on our couch in the condo we rented, when I saw a speck on her arm. I went to brush it off, and instead of brushing off, it crawled away. Then she tried to get it off. Before we knew it, we realized we both had these little tiny black specs on our arms, they were on the couch as well, on this end table, and eeewwwwwwwwww! A trail of them coming down the wall from where the wall meets the ceiling. What were they?! Get them off! They were on her dog. And worst... right above this room was my sister's bedroom. And on the door to my sister's bedroom was where my wedding dress hung. AAGHHHHHHHH!
I went upstairs and Thank God it seemed to be bug free. Except for the ones that came upstairs on us!
I moved my dress to my bedroom and left it zipped in the bag.
We started freaking out. We called our dad. He knew an exterminator who could come the next day. In the afternoon. So for the next 24 hours we showered, sprayed raid, showered, bagged bug samples to send to the Bureau of Agricultural (I think that's where we sent it) to identify the critters.
And did I say we showered? (Well, not together, but, I mean, we both kept trying to get them off us!)
So here was the deal. The bugs were bird mites. The condo we lived in had a washer/dryer hookup. The duct from the dryer in the kitchen went across the living room ceiling and vented to the outside of the condo. That duct ran the length of the living room right above the couch. And in that duct, was a bird nest with some baby birds that had BIRD MITES. Eeewwwwww. (Creepy!)
So the exterminator got out most of the birds. What do I mean by "most"? Well, what I mean by "most" is that one scared little birdy ran into the duct and was down by the dryer. And the exterminator said there was nothing more he could do. But the bird would eventually just die. And without a host, the mites would die, too.
Are you kidding me? Unfortunately, he was not kidding. But to just conclude this very lengthy story, my dad came to the rescue again and got the bird safely out.
The only other thing to add is that on the morning of our wedding, I woke up bug free but so nervous that I went #2 seven times!
Finally, the end.
Karla
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