Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Cookies Rules

In light of the fast approaching holidays, I thought you would all be wise to follow these rules. Cookies are sooo good this time of year, they are so cute, and pretty... to bad they don't last very long.....

Save the Earth; It's the only planet with chocolate!

Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test cookie, and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free rule #1 is yours also.
It would be rude to let your friend sample alone, and being the friend that you are makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have 3 and green ones have 5 - one calorie for each letter.. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching Miracle on 34th Street have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8.. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

And finally...

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!


Bogart said...

You know that if you store your cookies on top of your fridge, all the calories disappear...see, calories are like lemings...when they get stored up high, they make a bee-line for the edge and jump off, one after another...so for a calorie free dessert, just stick it on top of the fridge!

Merry Christmas.

Queenie Jeannie said...

I love your rules, lol!!!!

Lorie Shewbridge said...

Great rules to live by... and I am SO glad, because I have NO idea what the drug is in Christmas cookies that make you eat them without the ability to STOP. The Hubs and I (with a little help from Nano) have already eaten one entire package and are onto the second...
I haven't been up to making any, so my sweetie bought some for me because he knows how much I love them.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

someone forgot to tell my cookies all this and they jumped right onto my BUTT!

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