Wednesday, July 15, 2009

29 THINGS

Well, good evening folks. I don't usually do my days post the night before but tomorrow will be busy busy busy, so here I am.
My MIL is coming up for a visit, the first time since Christmas, and is staying for several days.
She is also bringing her puppy, so we will have 4 dogs in the house - yay us.
Anyway, since I haven't put many pics of her on my blog I will take some over the next few days, if I can catch her off guard and get her to cooperate. She is just like Chris in the regards that she hates having her picture taken. She said if I try to force her picture, she will wear a hat over her face all weekend. We'll just see about that.

She always sends me funny e-mails, and this one was no different. I just received it this afternoon and thought it an appropriate post. So laugh and enjoy!

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1
. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2
. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18
. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.


25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.


26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!


6 comments:

Karen Deborah said...

That is great, got a giggle and now I fully understand myself! Gotta luv a puppy.

Chris H said...

Good one! I like most of them.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Sooooo funny!!! Thanks for sharing!

Enjoy your visit with your MIL!!!

Flea said...

I love your 29 lines. Have fun with the MIL!

Mary Ellen said...

Hope you're enjoying your visit. I loved the list - especially the 'wrath of grapes' thing! Very funny!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I got this recently too - loved it!