Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Plethora of Information

I received this as an e-mail and had to post - its just to freakin' funny.
I especially like the southern/northern comparisons. For those of you that don't know I was born in Chicago, IL, and now have lived in Tx for more than 20 yrs. So I understand both comparisons, lol.

( On a quickie note - my Uncle is still in the hospital, but doing a bit better - thank you for all your kind words.)

RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER 'T'.
EXAMPLES:

TUESDAY
THURSDAY
TODAY
TOMORROW
THANKSGIVING
THATURDAY
THUNDAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS :
5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER
12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE PERFECT BREAKFAST...AS A MAN SEES IT.....
YOU'RE SITTING AT THE TABLE AND YOUR SON IS ON THE COVER OF WHEATIES......
YOUR MISTRESS IS ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY........
AND YOUR WIFE IS ON THE BACK OF THE MILK CARTON.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?
NUDITY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
ABOUT 45 LBS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?
ABOUT 45 MINUTES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE FASTEST WAY TO A MAN'S HEART?
THROUGH HIS CHEST WITH A REALLY SHARP KNIFE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?
A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRY TALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRY TALE ?
A NORTHERN FAIRY TALE BEGINS 'ONCE UPON A TIME.....'
AND A SOUTHERN FAIRY TALE BEGINS...........
'Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT...

**DISCLAIMER - I have NOTHING against people over the age of 50, people from the north or south, and I have no fantasies about killing my husband!***

and on that note - ya'll come back now ya hear;))

7 comments:

Bogart in P Towne said...

After spending some time in Louisiana with Claire's family...that recipe thing...the truth.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

giggles.... Ya'll aint gonna believe this shit... is so TRUE! oh and BBQ coon is the ONLY way to eat it!

jojo said...

so funny...can't wait to share it with my husband ;)

jj

Michelle said...

What a great way to giggle in the new year! Nice ones, Marcy! Happy New Year!

noble pig said...

Those were great Marcy!

jojo said...

plethora...I love that word, it seems a little naughty!

just stopping by to wish you a wonderful, fun-filled, healthy, safe, HAPPY NEW YEar..;)

Mary Ellen said...

Very cute. I especially like the one about the zoo!